Archive | September 2013

183. Trying to be Better

A/N: So…got some time on my hands unexpectedly and needed some way to relax, so here’s an update.

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Holly and Tallah gave birth the next day to my great-grandsons Bentley and Nathaniel.  Watcher, I feel old.  I’m not even sure exactly how old I am.  Time moves strangely for me.  The alien thing.

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Later the same day they were born, I found out I was pregnant again and retreated to the nursery to sulk because I was an idiot. It’s not like I was drunk or anything when I screwed around with Borage.  Something about him just made me forget everything I hated about close-to-incestual relations…no, I was being stupid.  It wasn’t his fault I’d jumped him, it was mine.  I was just too much of a flirt for my own good.

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“GG?  Are you okay?” asked Naomi.

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“I’m fine.  Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure?  You look sad.”

“I’m not sad, really.  More mad.”

“Why?”

“I did a bad thing after I told myself I wouldn’t do it again.”

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“What’s the bad thing?”

“It’s not important.”

“It’s important to me, cause it’s making you sad.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but I don’t want to scar you for life.”

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“What does that even mean?”

“It means if I tell you, you’ll remember it for the rest of your life and you’ll think of me differently.  I don’t want you to think of me as anything more than your GG.”

“How could I think of you as anything else? You are my GG.”

“And that’s the way it should stay.  I’m just your GG.”

“But I want to make you feel better.”

“Just by talking I feel better.”

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“Okay, GG, if you say so.  I hope you feel even betterer soon.”

“I feel much betterer now.  This is a good hug.”

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They left soon after because Holly and Tallah wanted to be back at home where they had everything they’d bought for their sons.  They took a barge back to the mainland since they didn’t feel comfortable on a plane with newborns.  I was sad to see them go, but I’m sure we’ll see each other often.  They’re my favorite descendants (don’t tell my other grandkids I said that.)

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To keep my mind off things, I played with little Fergie for hours on end.  It was hard to resist that face.

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And I reverted to my old passion too.  Strumming has always settled my stomach.  Or excited it, depending on the beat.

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Curly also got more of my attention because the house was empty of kids again.  He will always be my boy, no matter how busy I get.  I cherish these moments.

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I tried not to sit around in a brown study too much, but sometimes I couldn’t help it.  I wondered how I would ever break the news to my children with Liam, Borage’s father.  I felt like they would hate their siblings-nieces/nephews.

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“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

At that point all I could think was, AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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I gave birth to Tatiana.

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And Evangeline.

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Evangeline was quickly drawn to the xylophone.

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She got pouty whenever she hit a wrong note and would say “Na-gah-la!”

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Tatiana would laugh at her sister whenever she started complaining and would murmur things to the stuffed toys that I think might have been baby insults.

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Evangeline had a habit of throwing her boogers at Tatiana, but Tatiana ignored them like they were nothing.

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With only two kids in the house, I found I had hours rather than minutes to spend with them.

“No, Eva, we don’t eat the dolls.  Dolls are nice people.  And Mommy doesn’t want to buy new dolls for you.”

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Eva giggled, and I could’ve sworn she was thinking that the best, tastiest dolls were the nice ones.

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Tatiana would murmur happily while I read to her.  Her favorite books were about magic oranges and talking schools.

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Evangeline seemed lonely when I spent time with Tatiana, and would throw stuffed toys at us.

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Whenever that happened, Tatiana would say, “Na na na na na!” and fling the toy back at her twin, then acting like nothing happened.  I tried to reason with them but they never listened to me for long.

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Evangeline seemed equal to the teasing, though.  She just threw another toy at her sister and giggled when it hit her.

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I made sure to give Eva some extra time with me when I was done reading to Tia to show them both I didn’t have a favorite.  Because I didn’t.  I loved them both, regardless of how they’d come to be.