Archive | September 2013

183. Trying to be Better

A/N: So…got some time on my hands unexpectedly and needed some way to relax, so here’s an update.


Holly and Tallah gave birth the next day to my great-grandsons Bentley and Nathaniel.  Watcher, I feel old.  I’m not even sure exactly how old I am.  Time moves strangely for me.  The alien thing.


Later the same day they were born, I found out I was pregnant again and retreated to the nursery to sulk because I was an idiot. It’s not like I was drunk or anything when I screwed around with Borage.  Something about him just made me forget everything I hated about close-to-incestual relations…no, I was being stupid.  It wasn’t his fault I’d jumped him, it was mine.  I was just too much of a flirt for my own good.


“GG?  Are you okay?” asked Naomi.


“I’m fine.  Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure?  You look sad.”

“I’m not sad, really.  More mad.”


“I did a bad thing after I told myself I wouldn’t do it again.”


“What’s the bad thing?”

“It’s not important.”

“It’s important to me, cause it’s making you sad.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but I don’t want to scar you for life.”


“What does that even mean?”

“It means if I tell you, you’ll remember it for the rest of your life and you’ll think of me differently.  I don’t want you to think of me as anything more than your GG.”

“How could I think of you as anything else? You are my GG.”

“And that’s the way it should stay.  I’m just your GG.”

“But I want to make you feel better.”

“Just by talking I feel better.”


“Okay, GG, if you say so.  I hope you feel even betterer soon.”

“I feel much betterer now.  This is a good hug.”


They left soon after because Holly and Tallah wanted to be back at home where they had everything they’d bought for their sons.  They took a barge back to the mainland since they didn’t feel comfortable on a plane with newborns.  I was sad to see them go, but I’m sure we’ll see each other often.  They’re my favorite descendants (don’t tell my other grandkids I said that.)


To keep my mind off things, I played with little Fergie for hours on end.  It was hard to resist that face.


And I reverted to my old passion too.  Strumming has always settled my stomach.  Or excited it, depending on the beat.


Curly also got more of my attention because the house was empty of kids again.  He will always be my boy, no matter how busy I get.  I cherish these moments.


I tried not to sit around in a brown study too much, but sometimes I couldn’t help it.  I wondered how I would ever break the news to my children with Liam, Borage’s father.  I felt like they would hate their siblings-nieces/nephews.



At that point all I could think was, AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


I gave birth to Tatiana.


And Evangeline.


Evangeline was quickly drawn to the xylophone.


She got pouty whenever she hit a wrong note and would say “Na-gah-la!”


Tatiana would laugh at her sister whenever she started complaining and would murmur things to the stuffed toys that I think might have been baby insults.


Evangeline had a habit of throwing her boogers at Tatiana, but Tatiana ignored them like they were nothing.


With only two kids in the house, I found I had hours rather than minutes to spend with them.

“No, Eva, we don’t eat the dolls.  Dolls are nice people.  And Mommy doesn’t want to buy new dolls for you.”


Eva giggled, and I could’ve sworn she was thinking that the best, tastiest dolls were the nice ones.


Tatiana would murmur happily while I read to her.  Her favorite books were about magic oranges and talking schools.


Evangeline seemed lonely when I spent time with Tatiana, and would throw stuffed toys at us.


Whenever that happened, Tatiana would say, “Na na na na na!” and fling the toy back at her twin, then acting like nothing happened.  I tried to reason with them but they never listened to me for long.


Evangeline seemed equal to the teasing, though.  She just threw another toy at her sister and giggled when it hit her.


I made sure to give Eva some extra time with me when I was done reading to Tia to show them both I didn’t have a favorite.  Because I didn’t.  I loved them both, regardless of how they’d come to be.