129. Fallen Angel

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“Are you all right? You’re not…pregnant, are you?”

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“Of course not.  How could I be pregnant?  I’m sure I’m only dreaming that I’m pregnant because my ultimate dream in life is to have a hundred babies.  That’s all it’s gotta be.”

“Well, that would still mean you’re pregnant here in the dream,” Cam pointed out.

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I got a phone call…why did they have to remember to put phones in this dream?  They’re so annoying.

“Some dreams are so powerful they become real,” the phone said in Jacob’s voice.  Then it disappeared.

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“Jacob apparently just called.  And he’s learning to talk like his other mother.  But I think I know what he means.  You don’t have to worry about us, Cameron.  We’ll both be fine.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.  Just you.”

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That was the nice thing about dreaming.  We didn’t have to do much talking.  It was as if we’d never been separated.

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Cam often touched my belly.  There was a lot of kicking and lighter flutterings that we thought might be wings.

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I wanted to do everything relating to winter, so we went and had our own private winter festival.  Despite that I knew this was a dream, I maintained my maternal instincts and stayed off the ice.  Good thing too, as Cameron was careening all over the place.

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“Will you come see me when we wake up?” Cam asked as we danced.

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“Yes, of course,” I said.

I noticed he was wearing his wedding ring.

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Back at our little pink house, we flopped down and made angels.  I couldn’t help thinking that if I dressed as an angel for Halloween, I would be a fallen angel.  Cameron would be one of the regular angels: white robes, halo, and all.

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Then familiar pain struck me.

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And I woke up.

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A pool of sadness welled up inside me.  Had it really all just been a dream?

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Ricky had woken up too.  “Mom, why’s there a kid over there?” he asked.

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I looked down.  And I knew who he was.

My dream had become real.

Cameron had thought Jacob meant we as a couple would be okay.

I didn’t know about that.

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I scooped our son up.  “Your name is Cameron, after your daddy,” I said.

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“So, uh, are you going to explain the kid or not?” Ricky asked.

“Oh, sorry.  He’s your newest brother Cameron.”

“Okay.  And how is that possible?  Aston was just born and you never said he’s a twin.”

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It was actually uncanny how closely their skin tones matched.  They could pass as twins.  At least until they got older.

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“He’s not,” I said.  “Your brother Jacob’s a witch and his magical specialty is with dreams.  He conjured me a dream with my husband and Cameron is the result.”

“Uh…what?”

I repeated the story, and at the end Ricky still looked confused.  “So you’re saying…okay, so my brother gave you, our mother, a dream about making a baby and that resulted in a real baby?  Was Jacob…um, there in the dream?  I don’t know why I’m asking…because that’s a gross thought.”

“Ugh!” I said.  “I really hope not.”

“Yeah, forget I asked,” said Ricky.  “I guess it’s great that my 50th sibling has been born.  And…I’ll just be going back to bed.  I wonder if this is all a weird dream.  Not one of my weirdest.”  He wandered back outside before I could ask him what his weirdest was.

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I held Cameron, wanting to reassure myself that he was real.  And at the moment, he was the only thing tying me to his father.

I loved Cameron, now that I remembered I did.  But as I rocked, the old doubts and fears that my dream-self had suppressed flooded me and I knew when we next met it wouldn’t be a peaceful reunion for long.

I was still who I was, a fallen angel.  And no matter how much Cameron tried to make me a good, pure angel, I would never be one.  My life with and without him had taught me that.  No sooner had one man left me than I was in the arms of another.

But I loved Cameron.  Was that enough to keep us together?

2 thoughts on “129. Fallen Angel

  1. That’s some freaky dream there. For me it would be a nightmare LOL. I liked how he was freaked out by the random baby hahaha

    • Yep, tell me about it. Waking up to find you have a kid without knowing you did? i’d be freaked out too. lolz. Elena’s just a weirdo. Yep, Ricky added some nice sensibility to this. 😉

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