Archive | January 2013

137. Snow in Autumn

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I’ve noticed that Cameron has been spending a lot of time on the computer chatting with someone. I don’t know who. It might be a school friend, though he never mentions having any friends. He never goes to anybody’s houses for that matter, or invites anybody here. It makes me sad, but at least he has us.

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“Bye, Mom.  Bye, Dad!”

“Where are you going?”

“The fall fest.”

“By yourself?”

“No, of course not.  I’m meeting a friend.”

All right, I correct myself.  He has just now mentioned a friend.

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A girl friend?

“Hi, Snow,” said Cameron.

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“Hi, Ronny.  I’m so glad we finally get to meet in-person.  Guess what?”

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“What?”

“Dad and I moved here!  I talked him into it.  Cause, you know, we need a change of scene.  What with Aunt Silver dying and all…”

“Oh, yeah.  Listen, I’m really sorry about that.”

“I am too.  But it’s been a while now.  I’m moving on.  I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.  We’re doing better since we got here.  Dad and I played catch like in the old days.  We’re talking about getting a dog.  Or two.”

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“I see you caught yourself a fish,” said Ricky.

“Yeah…hi to you too, bro.  Don’t think I didn’t notice you standing there.  Did Mom set you up to stalk us?”

“Nah, it’s a happy coincidence.  Rory and I are here for the fun and food.  Hoping to hook up too, if we’re lucky.”

“Mind introducing me?”

“Oh yeah.  Snow, this is my older brother Ricky.  Ricky, this is Snow Bell, my friend that I met online.  She just moved here from Twinbrook.”

“Oh, nice to meet you!”

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“Likewise,” said Ricky with a waggle of eyebrows.  “So, friends, huh?”

“Gee, thanks.”

“What?”

“She walked off.”

“Oh, sorry.  Go catch her.  You won’t find many fishes who’ll take you what with…”

“Shut up.”

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“Snow, wait.”

“What?”

“Look, I’m sorry about my brother.  He’s just a real douche.  I know you don’t know me well, so I’m really sorry that he made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay.  We do know each other great, you know, because we IM so much.”

“But we’ve never met in person.”

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“Doesn’t matter.  If you lo – if you like someone, it doesn’t really matter if you’ve met them face-to-face or not.  It can still be a great friendship.  But…”

“But what?”

“But, but, but, but…”  She took a deep breath.  “ButIwaskindathinkingwemightbemorethanfriends.”

“Huh?”

Snow blushed.  “I kinda have a crush on you,” she mumbled.

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“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I kinda have a crush on you too.”

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Cameron made the first move.

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Snow didn’t seem to mind.

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I met Snow as she was coming over for a visit one day.  She’s a very sweet girl.  I think she and Cameron are great for each other.  They’re a lot alike.

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“I think Cameron has a girlfriend,” I told Cam.

“Oh?  Have you asked him?  Boys do have friends who are girls, you know.”

“Not for long,” I said.  “Not in my experience.”

“Yes, well, you are…”

“Let’s not go there.”

“All right.”

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“So I hear you have a girlfriend.”

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“Mom, she’s not my girlfriend!  We kissed, like, once, and that’s it!”

“So what are you, friends with benefits?”

“MOM!  That’s you, not me!”

Ouch.

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Cameron and Snow spend a lot of time talking when she’s over.  I’ve noticed Aston watching them sometimes.  I wonder if he’s jealous of his brother.  I can’t discuss anything with him, though.  He refuses to talk to me.

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“Hey, Snow,” Cameron said one day.

“Yeah?”

“Um…uh…”

“Come on, Ronny, spit it out.”

“Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

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That usually means yes.

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I’ve been keeping an eye on them, but I needn’t bother.  All they do is cuddle, chat, and watch cheesy comedies.  Only the occasional kissing.

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I got a long, tersely worded letter from my mom and dad one day.  It basically said that they’re very disappointed in me for not contacting them directly regarding anything recently.  I’ve been avoiding them.  I don’t want to argue with my dad or see my mom’s disapproval written all over her face.  It’s not just about me having kids with different fathers, or about cheating on and divorcing Cam.  It’s about me not talking to them at all.  Period.

So they’re coming up to my house soon, whether I like it or not.  Oh joy.

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I think that letter might have sent me into stress-labor.

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“You got boo-boo?” Merik asked.

“Big boo-boo,” I replied.

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Jesme is my first child to have my hair and exact skin-tone all at once.

Jesme.

Mini-me.

Her name suits.

A/N: Random bit of trivia – Snow’s Aunt Silver was a character from my brief attempt at a story legacy, Darlings of Destiny.  I always meant for Silver Bell to die.  Snow is technically a clone of her, except for the hair color and skin-tone, I think.

136. Santa’s Little Helper

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My luck ran out with my apple trees on the next full moon. This zombie stripped this tree and later another stripped the other when I wasn’t looking.

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My peashooter shot her full of invisible peas.

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At least the peashooter works as a revenge tool, if not a preventive tool.

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“I need some invisible elves to guard my trees.  What’s the good of being a fairy if I don’t have any elvish friends?”

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“You need an elf?”

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I jumped and dropped the dead tree and my umbrella.  “Who the Berry are you?”

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He caught me.  “Why, I’m Claus!  Not to be confused with the great Santa Claus, though I do work for him.”

“You work for Santa Claus?”

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“Yes!  I am one of his elves, born to work in his workshop until I grow too old to place a bow just right and draw an arrow on an instruction manual.”

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“You do realize it’s a bit early for Santa, don’t you?  It’s only autumn.”

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“Oh, I know.  But when someone calls for an elf, I am delegated to answer!  So, what is it you wanted?  A dance with a tree?  A wrapped up zombie for one of your children?  A pea-sized spoon to throw baseballs with?”

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“Uh, no.”

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“AAAH!  YOU DON’T NEED ME FOR ANYTHING!  WHY WAS I CREATED?  MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN RUINED BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED ME!”

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“Look, I’m cold, wet, and you scared the Berry out of me.  Why don’t you come inside and I’ll see if I can find something for you to do.”  Hey, I wasn’t going to get rid of an elf!

“Oh, thank you, Elena!  Thank you, Elena’s lovely shoes!  I will not disappoint!”

“Great.”

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“It’s a pleasure to meet you.  May I say, you look skinnier than all the other models I’ve ever seen?”

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“I JUST REALIZED YOU’RE A DEAD MODEL!  THIS IS THE HOUSE OF CRAZY!”

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Oh.  My.  Waffles.  This is the house of crazy?  Do I want to know what Santa’s workshop is like?  Is he even from Santa’s workshop?  I hope he doesn’t scare the twins.

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“It’s okay, Claus has got you.  I’ll keep you away from the dead model.”

“You smell blood,” said Yoshi.

“No, I don’t smell like blood.  I smell like a wet elf!”

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I changed to warm up and dry off.

“Have you seen a man running around screaming nonsense?” I asked the nursery at large.

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“No, but I’ll keep my eyes open.  Say, you like my clothes?  I magicked them here from the South Pole!”

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“Don’t you mean the North Pole?”

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“No!  The South Pole is where the clothes all the old people get are made.  The North deals strictly with toys and pets!  And the occasional lemon.”

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“Lemon?”

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“Yes, lemons!  You know, the things people get squirted in the face with if they’ve been naughty!”

“I don’t think most Sims do that.”

“It is not something the Sims do!  We elves sneak into the houses of the naughty Sims at night and squirt them while they are sleeping!”

“That sounds creepy.”

“It’s no worse than what Santa does.”

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“I am supposed to tell you my last name as well as my first.  It is part of our policy.  People always laugh when I tell them.  Will you?”

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“I’ll try not to.”

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“My name is Claus Bloopenhooper.”

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I couldn’t help it.  I snorted.  Then I dissolved into giggles and couldn’t stop.  “Bloo-pen-hoo-hoo-hoo!

“I knew you would laugh!  Thank you!  I love how I make everyone laugh!”

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“You’re…welcome!” I said as I finally calmed down.  His crazy had gotten to me.  I moved closer to him.  “Mr. Bloopenhooper, I’ve thought of a way for you to help me.”

“Oh, how?”

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“I have a personal challenge to have a hundred children.  Could you give me an early Christmas present?”

“I would have to talk to the boss…”

“Not that kind of Christmas present!”

“Oh!  You mean you would like children?  Easily done.  I did the same thing for a witch who lives here.  She wanted triplets, so I gave them to her.”

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“I’ll take whatever number you give me.  Come on!”

“You’re even more eager for a Christmas miracle than she was.”

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“You will love your gift.”

“You already gave me part of it.  The fun is half the reason I do this.”

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Then Aston appeared behind Claus.

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“THERE’S A GOD-CHILD THAT’S GOING TO EAT ME AND MY AWESOME PANTS!”

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Aston went out after him and a moment later I smelled smoke.

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“Where’s the fire?”

He shrugged and walked off.

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“Vampire, get out of the sun.  You’re smoking.”

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“I am not a vampire!  I am an elf!  I am also not an alien!”

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“I see you’ve got some issues to resolve about being a vampire.  But that’s no reason to let yourself roast to death.  As much as I would like you to leave and not come back, this is not the way to do it.”  Cam grabbed his arm and dragged him inside.

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“I feel alive again!  The violet saved me from the god-child and his fiery fires!  All praise the violet!”

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“He cray-cray.”

“True dat.”